I was talking to a couple of children's librarian friends in the airport on the way home from ALA the other day. We were discussing some of the challenges we face with our public and how much things have changed in the past thirty years that we have worked with kids and families.We come from various sized libraries but there was a common theme running through our conversation. People of all ages are increasingly unable to accept limits on their poor behaviors in the library. Back in the day, if you set a policy or limit, most folks accepted it. But somewhere, somehow, somewhen, some people of all ages, all socioeconomic backgrounds and all - well, all! - simply don't think they need to accept there are limits to behaviors out in public and in a public building.
This pervasive "You're-Not-the-Boss-of-Me" attitude is our challenge each day at work. We want everyone to love coming to the library and we want to love helping them. We expect alot of free-ranging action and hubbub- we work with kids after all. But when things start to go bad and patrons are asked to calm down; supervise their children; stop running/climbing/swinging/cheese-doodling on the keyboards - well, you get the gist- the reaction is outrage that someone would attempt to limit their actions.
Some staffers handle this reaction with fear and back down. After all, we are supposed to be endlessly friendly. But in doing so I think those staffers lose control of the space and cede their authority to the kids/adults exhibiting poor behaviors. Other staffers calmly assert their authority to maintain a space friendly and welcoming for all users. Limits are set, perimeters established and expectations calmly conveyed.
Hard to do? You bet. But we do have a responsibility to create a space that all users feel they can use. As the librarian or library worker at the desk or responsible for the department, we help to set the tone for the children's area. We are the boss -not bossy - or at least the manager who manages the space. So here comes my mantra: be brave, don't fear. You can do it!
Image: '018_18' http://www.flickr.com/photos/94976401@N00/362852690
I hadn't thought about the challenges of this type of behavior in libraries, but I do think it's a pervasive attitude in our society today. I call it the "I am the center of the universe" phenomenon. It baffles me how many parents seem to be deliberately raising their children to believe that the universe revolves around them. This is a disservice to society as a whole, and to the kids, who will eventually come up against people (or employers) or don't agree.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me vent!
I guess I am lucky. I mainly frequent the libraries in two mid-sized towns near where I live in Kansas and have never seen the kind of behavior you are talking about. Wichita is the nearest city and I haven't been to that library in a long time. I wonder how things are there...maybe I should check it out. I do realize that "city" has a different connotation in the midwest than it does in other parts of the country. Wichita is the largest city in Kansas and it doesn't begin to compare in size or population to other cities around the country.
ReplyDeleteThis baffles me also - especially when I see parents allow children to continue in self-destructive or generally disruptive behaviors. For example, b/c of the way our library expansion was built, what used to be the ramp to the entrance is now inside. It ends in a brick wall. Parents allow and even encourage their small children to race down this wall. They are irate when we firmly tell them it is not a playground. Smashed noses anyone?
ReplyDeleteMaybe people are more polite in Kansas? We are a community of 50,000 and my colleagues I was talking with come from communities of 63,000 and 193,000. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIs it horrible to say that I'm really glad to hear it's not just my library where this happens? Luckily, I have some hardcore patrons who will lay the smack down for me sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's not horrible..it just let's us know we are not alone in this nuttsiness!
ReplyDelete"Be brave, don't fear!" Thank you for the encouragment!
ReplyDeleteI do not understand what is causing parents to raise their children in this way. It is a complete abdication of their responsibility as parents to teach proper behavior. I completely support any effort to provide librarians, teachers or anyone else the tools they need to manage the space for all of us.
ReplyDelete