ALL.THE.THINGS.

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I've been thinking alot about the pressure we put on ourselves in our youth library world. We want to be good at our job and for our community but there is also a whole world out there in the profession that sings a siren song of opportunity and over-commitment. Striking a work balance, a professional balance and a personal balance is hard because of All.The Things. that call and call and call.

Two recent blog posts brought this into particular focus. The first was this one at House at Katie's Corner.  Katie talks about those many things that pulled at her and drove her to exhaustion.  In the end, she reminds herself why she is a librarian : "It’s not to have the best blog or the latest gadget or the best-written article in Library Journal [although these things are fabulous]. I’m really doing my job to serve my people, my community, my kids. And if I focus so much on myself and how I stack up next to others, I’m not going to do the best job for them."

The second is the first of three posts that Mel is doing at Mel's Desk about the nuances of no. Mel beautifully explores the difficulties and satisfactions of working towards balance and the power that "no" has in reaching towards that goal. She shares her journey of getting out of earshot of the siren song. I can hardly wait to read the next posts coming out on this.

One of my first library directors taught me something valuable as a young librarian that has helped me work through this struggle in my own practice. He pointed out that there was time for everything in my career. When I was asked to serve on an award committee early in my career, he said no.  I was burning the candle at both ends with some amazing work projects and partnerships and he pointed out that the opportunity would come again. At the time, I was really angry with him. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! He was ruining everything! I could do it! I had the energy!

But time proved him right. The opportunity not only came again but came at a better time - a time when I could commit energy and thought to it without shorting my work at the library. And it came more than once. He helped me see that in the course of a career, we have many opportunities to do meaningful work professionally without jumping on the train early or taking time away from work or family.

I also learned as I went along that stress is not my favorite place to be. It helped me create balance and really pursue projects outside of work that made a difference without killing me with overwork. I say yes to very few outside professional commitments/projects at any one time (storytelling, consulting, professional association work, teaching, writing) since it has to mostly fit in my non-work time. If I take on too much, my blog goes quiet. I am out of balance.

How do I juggle all the things to get to balance? My first  - and always  - bond and commitment is to the people I serve and who pay my salary. My best energy, my best ideas and my time go here first. Next is my family. From there, I work to serve and advance our profession - taking on commitments that don't overwhelm me or crowd into my workday.  If I don't serve my community and my job, everything else I do is really meaningless and false. This - this everyday and day-in-and-day-out work- is my center.

Because I am closing in fast on four decades as a children's librarian I have truly learned that a career is a marathon and not a sprint. The sweetness of those "extra" things that I have done in the past ten years is better than many things I did early on. And there is room and time for everyone to get to that sweet place. Time brings all the things our way. We just need to be patient and realize that the journey is just as good as the destination. Give yourself time and space to grow and balance. The rest of All.The.Things. will come in their own good time.

Nurturing Ideas - and Each Other

Stellar Nursery in Orion

This is one of my favorite photos at the always amazing Astronomy Picture of the Day. It shows the Great Nebula in Orion - a huge cloud of gas and energy where suns are forming in a stellar nursery. While the science intrigues me, I see it as a metaphor for what we can do best in youth services - help support and lift up our colleagues anywhere on their career path.

I've been thinking alot about this lately - partly because I've been teaching. There is this aspect of giving information in the act of teaching but a far deeper piece where the students give just as much -  sharing, problem solving, teaching and supporting each other. I always learn when I teach.

I've also been thinking about this - partly because I have been looking at management and hiring not just in our own library but also as I develop workshops, presentations and courses on  youth services management. Part of what you do every day as a manager is look for ways to open a path for the team members to work more smoothly - whether its removing a rock from the path, helping re-find the way, putting the brakes on a cart careening off the path or providing a little muscle to help ease the passage up a tough hill.

Partly because I have been in so many conversations with colleagues all over the country about how to encourage the sharing so we can preserve knowledge but also build on it. We should each want to plug into librarians at all points in their career to network, to share and to encourage their work and passion. Whether new or a vet, we can lift each other up by asking for our colleague's opinions, program ideas, and youth librarianship thoughts.

Amy Koester wrote recently about this is Storytime Underground and I couldn't agree more. We all have something to share, to learn and to gain. It isn't just the bloggers and presenters who have a platform though. It is every youth librarian every day in their work pushing that envelope further out. The stellar nursery isn't just for the beginners in librarianship - it is for everyone along their career's path. We all need that nurturing and support - and we all can give it.

Maybe, in addition to our PLN (personal learning networks), we need to commit to a ULN (universal learning network). Open ourselves up not just to our familiar network but build further and more openly outside of our tribe and our group and our lanes of connectivity. If we each think ourselves as a mentor - even if we are just six months into our first position - and our job is to lift each other up, how powerful could that be?!?!

We can then consciously support a youth librarian idea nursery that spreads and supports the work of us all by connecting to the unconnected, the un-cohorted, the un-MLISed. We can build the network by including never-before-presenters to panels we are creating to present at CE/conferences/webinars at all levels. We can make sure our blogs are open for guest posts. We can nurture those who don't have a path to leadership or an audience and are hesitant to step forward.

Flannel Friday, Storytime Underground, Thrive Thursdays and lots of bloggers are leading the way to this kind of universal support. Our challenge is to continue and reach more deeply out to those unconnected who can use the support just as much. I know we do it. But can we do it more? Oh yeah, we're youth librarians and we all are that nursery for each other.

Image Credit: R. Villaverde, Hubble Legacy Archive, NASA

Agreeing to Disagree

I had an odd moment yesterday when reading a couple of posts on a national listserv.  Someone had originally asked for ideas on improving a library service. The poster finished the inquiry with the phrase "All ideas are welcome".  However, when someone replied with an idea, the original poster stated that she very much disagreed with the idea. It was a jarring realization for me - perhaps all ideas were not welcome.

It struck me that this is the kind of reply that shuts down ideas, that says thanks for the input- but not really.  If I had an idea to contribute, would my opinion be welcomed....or disrespected? I definitely felt a strong urge to keep my ideas to myself on this issue. Who needs to be put in their place after four months or forty years in the business?

This is by no means the first time I have seen this behavior. You name the issue in librarianship and you know a few people are going to wade in, say their piece (on any and all sides of an issue), lob a few bombs and shut down discussion.  Others shy away from saying anything lest they be branded a less-than-true believer or flaming the fan of disagreement even further.  The bomber has accomplished something that, in most cases, I hope they didn't mean to do - they have effectively  shut down discourse.

The townhall of listservs, groups, online discussions and comments seems to be more and more a place where one gets to state their opinion and then re-state and re-state it and re-state it. Each time a particular topic comes up that someone disagrees with vehemently, he or she feels duty-bound to wade in and state for the record just how wrong-headed the idea, approach or opinion is. Reasoned discourse devolves into "This is my opinion and if you don't like it, bite it." or "I have the research, so shaddup." or "Lots of people feel/think/believe the same way I do, which proves me correct."

We all have strongly held opinions - both personal and professional. We would be less than human if we didn't. And what a boring world if we all believed exactly the same thing! It strikes me that innovation would simply stop if we didn't have the constant give-and-take of divergent opinions to push us to new solutions and heights.

How we express our opinions dictates whether we will brook no disagreement or are willing to evolve, change and learn from the discourse engendered by our expressions and inquiries.  When I work with students, respect and reasoned discourse is the guide by which we agree to disagree. Once we hit the work world, spats and tantrums must be left behind.  Learning to elevate opinion and conversation into a respectful space takes patience, wisdom and smarts.

While I certainly own to being less than perfect in expressing my opinions and honoring those of other people, perhaps there are a few ways we might all navigate better when asking for input and honoring what we receive. Let's think of it as bringing some civility to our professional-level discourse - welcoming, listening to and absorbing divergent viewpoints without disrespecting opinions or ideas that are diametrically opposed to our own.

Strangely or not so much so, I am guided by the best set of book discussion guidelines ever. The CCBC (Cooperative Children's Book Center in Madison WI) developed these to help people speak and listen actively and intelligently. Book discussion committees that use these guidelines have an amazing experience when discussing books.

So let's look at these and see if there are ways we can use some of these suggestions to do a better job of respecting each other while expressing our firmly held beliefs. Try substituting the word "issue" for "book" in the Guidelines and see what we get:

CCBC Book Discussion Guidelines
Ginny Moore Kruse and Kathleen T. Horning
© 1989 Cooperative Children's Book Center
Look at each book (issue) for what it is, rather than what it is not.

1. Make positive comments first. Try to express what you liked about the book (issue) and why. (e.g. "The illustrations are a perfect match for the story because....")
   
   
2. After everyone has had the opportunity to say what they appreciated about the book (issue), you may talk about difficulties you had with a particular aspect of the book (issue). Try to express difficulties as questions, rather than declarative judgments on the book (issue) as a whole. (e.g. "Would Max's dinner really have still been warm?" rather than "That would never happen.")
   
   
3. Avoid recapping the story or booktalking the book (issue). There is not time for a summary.
   
   
4. Refrain from relating personal anecdotes. The discussion must focus on the book (issue) at hand.
   
   
5. Try to compare the book (issue) with others on the discussion list, rather than other books by the same author or other books in your experience.
   

All perspectives and vocabularies are correct. There is no "right" answer or single correct response.

1. Listen openly to what is said, rather than who says it.
   
   
2. Respond to the comments of others, rather than merely waiting for an opportunity to share your comments.
   
   
3. Talk with each other, rather than to the discussion facilitator.
   
   
4. Comment to the group as a whole, rather than to someone seated near you.

Sometimes, it's also ok to accept an idea or opinion without responding to state a disagreement. Our opinion isn't changed but no response also honors the fact that the other person has a right to theirs. Learning to express our views with an eye towards engendering discussion often involves phrases like, "While I appreciate what you are saying, I wonder whether..." or "I hear what you're saying, but my hesitation lies in....". It opens up communication and creates a safe space to express and share.

I wonder if we might commit to be more open, less combative and elevate our discussions with each other? Can we honor the ideas others share while tactfully expressing our own and even learning to moderate our opinions based on what we hear? Can we put down our arms and learn to disagree in a collegial way? As Eli Mina, the ALA Council parliamentarian, suggests in Council when tempers begin to flare and back-and-forthing detours councilors from the larger issues of working towards solutions: Let us return to the balcony in this discussion rather than staying on the floor. I wonder if we can do this more?

I don't know, you tell me.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

You Picked That Up From Where?!?!?

A recent post from a widely read blog, which will itself remain uncited, described a library's program for  kids. It looked fun and had a ton of good ideas. It is a program we have done too. All was well and good until I reached the point in the post where I read about an activity that I had created and originated and blogged widely - and more than once - about. Sadly, I didn't see a link back here. Sigh.

I definitely like to scatter idea seeds - both ones I've thought up and ones I've learned from others.  I let them fall where they may. I always hope for fertile soil;  for sprouts and gardens to grow that let kids experience something amazing that they couldn't if their youth librarian didn't try something new they heard from me - or discovered on a listserv, blog post, workshop or book .

But truly, as much as I have scattered, I have also gathered from others. I have learned and borrowed and recreated ideas that others have pioneered. Each time I do, I have said, "Hey, I found it here; or this library or librarian was the founding mother or here was the acorn that produced this oak." Everything comes from somewhere and I appreciate the person that hatched the first egg of the idea.

Every time I read a post that describes a program, I love to see where it came from (the writer's mind; another colleague; a chance conversation; an adaptation of an article; like that). It leads me to that first place and adds a colleague and their work to my blog roll, my reading pile or my bookmarks.

I have been mellow about seeing stuff I've created go viral ("Oh, there's my little baby," I coo proudly, "all grown up") even if my hand in it is long gone. I rarely pitch a fit.  But, somehow, this time, this missing link bothered me. I will totally get over it. I understand how in this world of Pinterest and links to links to links, things can easily fall between the cracks. But I send out a plea to my sister and brother pinners and bloggers and blog administrators - please remember to ask yourself and your writers to link to original content or at least lay a path that helps others find their way.

After all, everything starts somewhere.

Note: I composed this post last month and scheduled it for next week. But three incredible posts of the last 24 hours moved this up since they touch on aspects of support for each other in what I am writing: Hi Miss Julie's questions about who gets tapped for rock stardom vs. the librarians truly working in the trenches of youth librarianship; Kelly over at Stacked who thoughtfully and reflectively explores how we support each other in our work and blogging; and KM Librarian who thinks about networks and support that matter. All these posts are knock-your-socks-off thoughtful.


Image: '382e nestled in'  http://www.flickr.com/photos/25171569@N02/6298805160 Found on flickrcc.net